Article
It’s not the mattress!
January 14, 2019
I felt an urge to go over to him and interrupt him with, “Don’t bother. It’s not the mattress.” I was at Sam’s Club, and, as I browsed, I noticed a man near middle age peppering a salesman with questions as he lifted a mattress to sense its weight, ran his hand over its surface, squeezed it between his hands. He may have genuinely needed a new mattress, but in all probability, I could have saved him money.
When Sandra and I were nearing forty, we noticed that we could not sleep in the same positions we had for years. We not only would hurt in the night and frequently have to change positions, but we would also awake with cricks, cramps, pains, and stitches. After discussing our new-found aches, we concluded it was the mattress. It had been given to us and was now over twenty years old. Our aching had to be because our mattress was just worn out. So, we went shopping to buy our first mattress ever. We did the peppering the salesperson with questions, lying on the mattress, squeezing it, etc. We wanted a good one to last us, so we spent around $700 (16 years ago).
After just a few nights we knew we had bought a bummer. The cricks, cramps, pains, and stitches were still there when we rose in the morning. We tried to correct our poor choice of mattress and soon upgraded and bought another one, a more expensive one. Perhaps, we had bought too low a quality the last time. This time we spent around $900. Bringing it home, we anticipated a transforming night’s sleep. We would sleep without twisting and turning to get comfortable and would awake refreshed without pain. Not! We twisted and turned and awoke with the same cricks, cramps, pains, and stitches.
What kind of shoppers were we? Had we been too miserly? Shortly, we found ourselves back at mattress shopping. This time we got a good deal on an even higher quality mattress. The mattresses were on sale! (Aren’t they always?). We got a $1,200 mattress for much less! It was designed differently and gave us a lot of hope. With anticipation, we lay down that night. Alas, we awoke with the same cricks, cramps, pains, and stitches. It was then, three mattresses later, we had an epiphany: Our problem was NOT the mattress! The problem was us! No one had adequately warned us of what middle-age felt like at night.
In life and ministry, I often encounter folks with complaints, perceived-grievances, hurts, dissatisfactions, unhappinesses. Almost always, they blame the “mattress.” Their difficulty is because of this other person, that thing or this thing. It is another family member, a fellow church attendee, this leader or that leader. It’s their home, work, or church. If they would only realize, their discomfort and displeasure and dissatisfaction does not come from that other thing. It comes from themselves.
It is not the mattress. Spending more money to change mattresses never helped us in the least. Changing relationship, employment, church, etc., will not help in the least. Perhaps, I could have saved that man some money. I am sure lots of folks could be saved from more anguish if they would only realize their problem is not the mattress. It is who sleeps on top of it.
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