Article
Dear Mom, On Your Birthday.
December 29, 2018
Dear Mom,
Your heartbeat was the first sound I heard. Your voice was the first spoken language I experienced. At my arrival, you were there to greet me into this cold world. You gave me my first embrace. We shared months together, and suddenly we were apart.
Soon after, you were the one who gave me snuggles, cuddles, and caresses. We would share these things many times throughout our lives together. I would enjoy placing my ear just over your heart to hear that soothing sound I had come to appreciate inside of you. My fingers would try to touch your warm skin as I would sniff your pleasing scent. We would learn each other’s scent and sounds thoroughly.
I still have memories of being an infant. I can remember feedings and diaper changes. We would spend much time together. The nights you spent rocking me to sleep when my new teeth began to appear. My gums were sore. However, the chilled teething ring you placed in my mouth and your finger gently massaging those gums helped me to find sleep on a miserable night. I relied so much on you to provide for my needs. You were always there to meet them. Even though we were apart, we were still very close.
I can remember my first photo shoot. I barely had any hair, and my mouth was pouring slobber everywhere because of my new teeth. I was a mess! But you made the experience fun and memorable. You kept wanting me to smile, but the more I smiled, the more I slobbered. I was soon saturated, but you didn’t seem to care. Those pictures turned out pretty well considering the situation.
As I learned to crawl, I noticed you could walk away faster than my little knees could move. I soon decided I needed to walk, too. I remember you turned the corner from the living room into the kitchen. I was so frustrated at how slowly I was moving. So, I crawled to the nearest chair and decided it was time to stand. I remember looking over my shoulder as you were busy in the kitchen. Slowly I began pulling myself upward. That first memory of standing is still engrained in my mind. I was so shaky; my legs had never experienced such confusion before. I was determined to stand and did so for a moment. It was the small beginning of a new chapter in life. I could begin to keep up with you, but I could also run away from you too.
Birthdays were always special. I vaguely remember my first birthday. It doesn’t matter though. The first birthday is all about the cake, which I remember well. Once my tiny lips and tongue experienced such ambrosia, I knew this was not something to be placed merely inside my mouth. This cake was a heavenly gift that I should bathe myself with, head to toe and everywhere in between. To only eat such a delight would not sufficiently express the magnitude of flavor, scent, and texture birthday cake provides, not to mention the sugar rush.
Today is your birthday. I know we will not be together to celebrate it. I remember holding your hand and feeling your breath on my face that final time. You gave me your gift of unconditional love and kindness. You instilled within me a love for others and a desire to follow Christ’s leading in my life. We were close as we served God, but now we are apart. The years of our fellowship passed by far too quickly. The closeness we once shared little by little with each passing year has brought us to this place of temporary separation. Still, the love and memories we have for each other never wanes. Though a baby grows ever further away from the mother over time, the bond of parent and child always remains.
So, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday in heaven. You will always be missed and never forgotten.
In Memory of Gerry Miller.
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